The Tempest

Issue date: 5/9/07 Section: News

Media Credit: Courtesy Patrick Sheehan Sheehan Family, Casey, Patrick, Carly, Janey, Cindy and Andrew. Celebrating Andrews Graduation.

When Casey Sheehan was killed on April 4, 2004, it tore his family apart, and contributed to the divorce of his parents, Patrick and Cindy. As is often the case, the death of a child leads to a broken family.

"The day the chaplain knocked on our door," says Carly, Casey's younger sister, "I can honestly say was the worst day of my life.

"It was hard on us because we lost my brother. Then my mom, then my parents divorced."

The impact of his death greatly affected both sides of the family.

"It changed us all, fundamentally to the core," Carly said.

In contrast to Cindy, Casey's father, Patrick, is soft-spoken and prefers to remain out of the spotlight.

"I have been very quiet about all of this…I have been very hesitant to get out and speak about this because of all that has gone on. I was hoping through all of this, we could try and conduct ourselves with dignity and grace," Patrick says.

First he lost his son, then he lost his wife. On the recent one-year anniversary of his divorce, he is still having a hard time coping.

"I thought we would grow old together," he says. "Cindy was the love of my life."

Politics had very little to do with their divorce, he says. "We have the same philosophy on politics; the same beliefs about the war and how it is being handled… There were other things that tore our marriage apart."

Casey's siblings-Carly, Andrew and Janey-also struggled with the loss of their older brother, and their parents' divorce. It's been three years now and the pain of Casey's death lingers.

"I still cry a bit," says Carly, "but not everyday like I used to. At first, I didn't believe time [would] heal my wounds, but it's true, it does."

On the third anniversary of Casey's death last month, the whole family had breakfast together at Cindy's home in Dixon.

"There have been so many changes in my life," Patrick says. "I am dealing pretty well with the loss of my son-I have come to terms with his death and feel more at peace."

He has become involved with North Bay Stand Down, a program for homeless Vietnam veterans who need medical, legal and counseling services. And he maintains a close bond with his children.

"I am very proud of my children," he says. "They have really turned things around and gotten their lives together. Janey went to school and got her license for massage therapy. She's not comfortable discussing Casey. She is a throw back, a little hippy girl, and is very sensitive to people. Andy is a journeyman surveyor. Carly went to SCC and is now a senior at UC Davis. She will be graduating this year as a history major."

"As for Casey, I don't want him remembered only as a soldier, he was much more than that, being a soldier was the shortest part of his life."

- Contributors: Linda Austin, Ange Taylor, Yenny Espinoza, Amy Holsten, Kayla Henry and Alisha Anderson

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